Why your therapist won’t fix you (and why that’s a good thing)

One of the most common notions people carry when reaching out for therapy is: “There’s something wrong with me.” And somewhere along the way, we start to believe that therapy is about being fixed. But here’s the truth: You’re not broken. And therapy isn’t about fixing. It’s about understanding. It isn’t so much about erasing your problems and finding solutions as it is about getting to know yourself deeply.

The Language of ‘Fixing’ Can Be Harmful

When we say we need to be “fixed,” it often comes with shame.

It quietly suggests: “I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Something about me is wrong.” But hear us out – your pain, your responses, your patterns, they often come from something real. From the things you’ve been through.

From the ways you learned to cope, survive, or protect yourself.

Trying to “fix” all that can feel like erasing your story.

So What Is Therapy, Then?

Therapy isn’t about taking away your pain or making you someone new.

It’s about exploring who you are, how you got here, and what you need now.

A therapist doesn’t walk in with a toolbox to fix you.

They walk beside you with curiosity, compassion, and clarity—helping you make sense of the mess, sit with the hard stuff, and slowly move toward what healing looks like for you.

You are not something to be fixed.

You are someone to be understood.

And that’s where the work begins.

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